Data Science

Statisticians

Academic classical statistician, sit down and listen

You’re about to witness the power of algorithms

Linear regressions is suckin’ us into a recession

Interpretability is dead, the gold standard is now prediction

Please, you think ‘cause a method is new, it isn’t bad?

Everything about your “big data” movement is a fad

All you have is a glittering enigma wrapped in a complex riddle

Nothing but a black box with lots of little knobs to twiddle

I’ll take a black box that delivers accurate answers

On any question you can ask it, from genetics to cancer

Over a transparent box we understand that’s “interpretable”

With tractable math… 

Yeah, too bad it doesn’t work so good though

Algorithms are just another kind of statistical inference

That’s fine. You’re advocating scientifical ignorance

You’re like the Wizard of Oz in a balloon, floating over the earth

‘Come back!’

“I can’t, I don’t know how it works!”

Here’s how it works: data goes in, predictions emerge

Talk to Mark Zuckerberg if you really question its worth

Forget it, stay bottled up in a college and data model

I’ll solve problems, drive an Audi and date a model

Data science, we predict the outcome

And if you see it’s workin’, there’s no need to question “how come”

Statisticians, we want it precise

How is it “science” if you can’t explain your model designs?!?

Data science, we don’t want it basic

Life is complicated, the original “black box” is nature

Statisticians, reveal how nature functions

All you need is a model with articulated assumptions!

Is that too much to ask from a data analyst?

Show your work! That’s basic practice, but they can’t handle it

Move fast, break things, it just isn’t right

Not at the expense of parsimony and scientific insight

You got it backwards, pops, scientific progress

Is a step-by-step process from simple to complex

Quantum physics came after Newtonian mechanics

And classic statisticians never discovered exoplanets

You’re the one with the model backwards, son, you got distracted

We get results!

Yeah, with no thought for the causal factors

Tech investors keep earning, algorithms keep churning

But it’s a shallow journey if only the machine’s learning

We’re learning, never doubt that, data science is about facts

And if it catches mice, that makes it a better mouse trap

Statistics is either gonna get with artificial intelligence

Or it’s gonna lose in the data battle for relevance

Well if that’s your position, then I’m a converted mathematician

First, check if it works, and then unpack the algorithm

With statistical methods; that’s just more for us to perceive

Just don’t lose sight of the random forest for the trees

Data science, we predict the outcom

First check if it’s workin’ and then question “how come”

Statisticians, we want it precise

How is it “science” if you can’t explain your model designs?

Data science, we don’t want it basic

Life is complicated, the original black box is nature

Statisticians, reveal how nature functions

All I want is a model with articulated assumptions!

Data Science

Statisticians