COP27 Roundup

Now we get to interrupt the other panels

I can feel it in my blood, deep down I’m just a mammal

But somehow I’m on stage, rapping up a panel

Trying to kick a lyric right now that’s kinda brilliant

Shout out to the people at the Canada pavilion

Keep on this motion, cryosphere pavilion

It’s the polar oceans

Up to the North, yeah protect the polar bears

From all the heat that be coming from solar flares

And I for one embrace with no remorse

I for one welcome our new feminine overlords

Okay, I guess ‘overladies’ maybe?

I still trust them to keep us up in the matrix

It’s a moral obligation

To lean into this unprecedented global transformation

This is the greatest economic revolution of our time

If we don’t get it right, then all of life is on the line

So no pressure…

The peak: let each of us build a piece

Up in the aggregate, we end up building palaces

That’s what climate action is

So move the funds faster, the carbon can keep up

Show the stamina like Lucky Madina

Emissions are what rainforests have now to clean up

And Honduras is ready with new ITMOs, yo read up

Plus it’s so central

Indigenous people have that ancient info

That we can work right into solutions today

So make some noise for solving climate change that way

Come on people, grow those trees

It’s the representation from the DRC

Yes indeed, can’t keep people in the dark

Shout out the pavilion here, that’s Denmark

When she said “Tomatoes come from greenhouse gasses…
 

I mean, greenhouses” – but also gasses

Right? We learned that in our classes

The CO2 gets captured
 

By plants in photosythnesis

So if we plant a lot then we could reverse it really quick

So go green, make energy clean, threat is extreme

You heard the summary from Pierre Friedlingstein

He was like “Emissions are rising, and 1.5 and all that

And the trends are all bad”

And you were like “YAY”

Don’t applaud that!

At the end I’m filled with so much hope

I’m just so sorry I couldn’t do this all in Español

But hey, it’s time to be good listeners, escuchadores

Speakin’ out for the Latin American chorus

Were we inspired by these eco-warriors?

Los voces de los juventudes negociadores

Come on, why do you think Gabon is all-in on the sovereign?

To make sure that the benefits flow into them

And not to a bunch of NGO middlemen

“Not scientifically vetted” – that’s what you say to me?!

Come on, Gabon built its own space agency

So let’s re-ignite the Paris vibe, share it wide

Carbon credits, assessing verified, Article 5

Especially now that the private sector has arrived

And send paragraph 2 like a lamb to the sacrifice

B-A-A-A-A-A

Nothing but fun with the coalition

I mean, we want a world that’s clean and green

And carbon-free with lots of energy

That’s the way that we’re gonna get to it, and rock it

So that means the energy’s gotta be atomic

Yes indeed, this was my intro freestyle

Congratulations, we got a big crowd!
 

Make some noise ladies and gentleman…

So what do you want? 

You want to capture the carbon in the trees?

Then you need to look no farther than the Republique

Democratique du Congo

Under the leadership of Minister Eve

Minister Eve Bazaiba, Bazaiba keeps it green

With the Congolese, yes I am the hip-hopper 

Connecting from Canada straight to Kinshasa

‘Cause the climate is changing

And we must protect that rainforest basin

Every single animal that lives inside it

That’s the only way that we are gonna protect the climate