Offsetters
A Custom Rap
by Baba Brinkman
When organizations go “carbon neutral”, the hardest emissions to curb are generally ‘offset’ with carbon removal and pollution reduction projects where cuts can be made more affordably, leading to a massive ‘carbon market’ trading in credits of various kinds. Can we trust it? And does it actually make net emissions go down, or is it the ultimate greenwash?
Lyrics
IF THE IDEA THAT YOU CAN SIMPLY INVEST A LITTLE MONEY AND MAKE YOUR CARBON FOOTPRINT DISAPPEAR, THAT’S BECAUSE CARBON OFFSETS ARE BULLSH…
BAD CREDITS. BAD CREDITS
MAKING-OFFSETTERS-LOOK-BAD CREDITS
LIKE WE NEVER HAD THEM VETTED
SCAM CREDITS
NO-STANDARD-HAVING CREDITS
LIKE WE DON’T KNOW WHAT A ‘CARBON ASSET’ IS
SO LET ME BREAK IT DOWN, CLIMATE CHANGE IS NOW
FOSSIL FUEL IS WHAT THE PLANET IS PHASING OUT
SLOWLY, TRANSFORMING GLACIER-STYLE
TOO SLOW TO STOP GLACIER MELT
THIS IS JUST AN INTRODUCTION TO EMISSION REDUCTION
SUPPLY CHAIN, EVERY LINK IN PRODUCTION
GET RID OF YOUR COMBUSTION ADDICTION
GIVE IT UP AND MITIGATE THE DESTRUCTION 
WHILE STILL EVADING BANKRUPTCY
KEEPING YOUR BUSINESS OPEN WITH EMISSIONS LOW
IS CRITICAL, WHAT’S LEFT IN THE MIX IS ‘RESIDUAL’
THE MOST EXPENSIVE AND DIFFICULT EMISSIONS
OFFSETS CAN HELP GET RID OF THOSE
A BRIDGE FROM LOW EMISSIONS TO NO EMISSIONS HAS TO BE
BASED ON THE PRINCIPLE OF ‘ADDITIONALITY’
TAKING CARBON FROM THE ATMOSPHERE FOR A FEE  
MAKIN’ HAPPEN WHAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN FOR FREE
OFFSETTERS
MAKIN’ AMENDS
FOR CARBON EMISSIONS
OFFSETTERS
TAKIN’ POLLUTION AWAY
AND JUST MAKIN’ IT
ALL BETTER
OFFSETTERS
SALE OF INDULGENCES
PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE 
Y’ALL SINNERS
OFFSETTERS
BAD CREDITS, BAD CREDITS
IMPROPERLY-VETTED SCAM CREDITS
MAKIN’ THE CYNICAL APATHETIC
MAKIN’ OFFSETS LOOK LIKE A THEATRICAL PREMISE
AT BEST, AND AT WORST AN ACTUAL MENACE
BAD CREDITS UNDERMINE THE WHOLE RATIONALE
NOW THEY SAY “THE CHECKS SIMPLY DON’T BALANCE OUT”
NOT ENOUGH PLANTABLE GROUND TO CAPTURE EACH OUNCE
BUT THE OFFSETTERS ARE NOT BACKIN’ DOWN
“SOMETIMES IT FAILS IN PRACTICE, SO LET IT GO!”
IT’S ALL FIXABLE, CHECK THE PRINCIPLE
A FINANCIAL INCENTIVE TO GROW CARBON SINKS
IN THE DEVELOPING WORLD, THAT IS LITERAL GOLD
PROTECT A FOREST, FROM TIMBER COMPANIES
AND POACHERS WHO WOULD HAPPILY WRECK IT FOR US
BUILD A CLEAN ENERGY SOURCE
TRANSFORM AN EMITTING INDUSTRY INTO ONE THAT ABSORBS
“HOW DO WE PAY FOR IT?” WITH A CARBON MARKET
WITH ENFORCEABLE STANDARDS SO IT’S NOT DEFRAUDED
ONLY TRUE REMOVALS GET BARTERED ON IT
NOW WATCH AS TOTAL EMISSIONS START TO PLUMMET
THE IDEA IS THAT AN OFFSET SHOULD PROVIDE AN EXTRA REDUCTION OF CARBON THAT WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED ANY OTHER WAY.
‘CAUSE STOPPING POLLUTION
IS HARDER THAN MOVING 
TO OFF-SETTING
YOU MIGHT WANNA HIDE IN 
A CAVE IF YOU FIND IT 
TOO UPSETTING
IF WE CAN COOL OFF 
A PLANET THAT’S GETTING 
TOO HOT, LET US
DON’T TRY TO DISMISS IT 
AS GREENWASHING, NAH
‘CAUSE IT’S ALL VETTED
OFFSETTERS
MAKIN’ AMENDS
FOR CARBON EMISSIONS
OFFSETTERS
TAKIN’ POLLUTION AWAY
AND JUST MAKIN’ IT
ALL BETTER
OFFSETTERS
SALE OF INDULGENCES
PAY FOR THE PRIVILEGE 
Y’ALL SINNERS
OFFSETTERS
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