Lyrics

Welcome to the 2020 AGU
Week One – Okay, technically Week Two
But last week was the warm up, the schedule was sparse
The warm up, you know, like our temperature charts

Geophysical Union, this planet is complex
So this conference encompasses a range of concepts
I’m here to do the recaps if you don’t know, y’all
A Rap Up version of the Science Roll Call

Roll call, shout out to Paleogeography
Rock Physics, Cryosphere Science, the Hydrology
Every section stopping me in my tracks, eye-poppingly
Shout out to Tectonophysics and Seismology

Space Physics and Aeronomy, three cheers for Volcanology
And Geochemistry and… two cheers for Petrology
For proppin’ up the global economy and technology
Petrology gets a third cheer when it plugs up that carbon leak

That’s how I rap the rhythm, the scientific fact division
Stick to the research, with a smatter of activism
Otherwise we’ll see a rise in the Natural Hazard Section
Thriving Earth Exchange, only one planet we have to live in

Pass that paper, screen to screen, each one adds a letter
Put the words together real slow, for any bad spellers
Shout out to Magnetism, for that Ferromagnetic Flow
And shout out Planetary for that Bill Nye cameo

I’ve been tuned in since seven in the A.M.
Since the COVID-19 impacts session, know what I’m sayin’?
When a pandemic hits and humanity goes to ground
The satellites found, Sulphur Dioxide levels go down

This conference has some crazy lightening rounds
Like, “Laura Bakkensen, your three and half minutes start… now!”
And doctor Bakkensen starts rapidly breakin’ down what’s happening
With flood plain mapping and poor people and how it’s impacting them

And how government flood plain insurance investments
Disproportionately benefit the poor, which is progressive
If you just tuned in, the day didn’t start with Leland Melvin
Denis Hansell broke down the definition of “recalcitrant”

It means both persistent, conserved, or hardened
And also solubilizing dissolved organic carbon
And Jack Waite took us into the chemistry of Enceladus
The plumes that proved it’s ready for methanogenesis

And yeah, that intrigued me, gave me that Cassini feelin’
But let’s be honest, the whole day was just a prelude to Leland
With his trials and tribulations, his education as a young ‘un
Takin’ inspiration from Captain Kirk kissin’ the Green Woman

Interplanetary relations, never givin’ up
Bringin’ the ridgebacks in like, “Yeah, this is for my dawgs”
You’re gonna get setbacks on the path, but you will adapt
You just gotta find your own Man in the Yellow Hat

Like Daniel Golden, who gave Leland cheer with bleeding ears
And then later signed-off like, “He can fly, Leland’s cleared!”
Forget a hamstring tear, just pivot and keep your head up
Make a dope RV when life delivers you a bread truck

And then he made it, the international space station
Controlling the arm, proudly made by Canadians
With that orbital perspective, a true celebration
Suckin’ M&Ms from water drops, rockin’ “Smooth Operator”

By Sade, of course they played that record
It takes a smooth operator to get that orbital perspective
Get those M&Ms in you, watch out for the surface tension
That would be an ignominious end to Leland Melvin

Plus I gotta give props to to Robin Bell, for reppin’ it
Two auspicious years as the AGU president
And now she’s chillin’, outgoing, no stress livin’
Leland’s talk was incredible, it hit us with rivets

Leland’s event inspired songs by Will-i-Am
So what up Leland, in your next talk reference this jam!
I mean, he reaches a lot more people with his raps
But can the Black Eyed Peas write a song this fast?

Leland’s advice to young scientists is “follow your passion”
Mine too! How do y’all think I got into rappin’?
Some aspiring astronauts get to the Space Station
Others end up playing Space Invaders on Playstation

But hey, that’s the AGU, it takes all types
Oceanic researchers to climate to space flights
Leland gave inspiration, it’s gonna be extra hard
But one day we’ll even get our pets up to Mars

It’s the 2020 AGU
Week One, okay, technically Week Two
But last week was the warm up, the schedule was sparse
Warm up, you know, like planetary temperature charts

Geophysical Union – this planet is complex
So this conference encompasses a range of concepts
I’m here to do the recaps if you don’t know, y’all
A Rap Up version of the science roll call